It’s like a recurring sickness, a life cycle, a deplorable sequence only worst; not considerably worst since I avowed that it has been the ‘worst’ every time I fell into such mishap. Post cycle I convince myself, this shall be the last time shit like this happens but eventually… I reiterated over and over again.
“I’ve had it and I’m done with it"!” Bullshit
There are several times that I feel okay, despite the piling work and pressure due to studies and there are times that outside factors that are literally not related to academics or social just keep pressing me, and forcing me to erupt into what I am now.
It’s not my nature and I obviously hate it.
I feel no connection or relation that I used to have with those that constantly gave me support or great words that bring me through every hurdle or hill. Now it’s just discouragement and daunt.
Don’t I deserve to do something I am passionate about? Yes I am pursuing a degree in healing which I am deeply contended about but part of me… still holds a deep fervency in art. Hence I begin baby steps of learning from friends everywhere, being inspired with their skills in graphic designing/art/painting and that they are being able to fully utilize and nourish this passion of them.
The only support that kept me going on, friends especially seniors like Xun Jin who really thought me a lot of designing and graphics, as well as other close friends that really appreciate the so-called talent I have.
People who can’t understand this will just shut down doors, making it so confining and stifling. Limiting this passion of mine.
“You should have gone to art school! You better think properly on what are you doing! Don’t waste your time doing things like this!”
It’s beyond awful, like a catapult into hell’s core. They just do not effing understand!
I appreciate for the support I currently have from friends, it really meant a lot to me but sometimes the support that you long for from certain people are the ones that you really need; yet they discourage you and build up endless dead ends that only stop your way.
No understand at all.
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