We Run, We Hide, We Explode

The cycle of escapism; it’s blissful and easy to tackle, like riding a tricycle without even bothering whether you will stumble or fall because there is a solid support. It may bring joy for a short period of time but one will never actually experience the pain of falling and won’t be able to really cycle on an archetypal bicycle. We were young that time, normally it is our dads that obliged their sons or daughters to take the wheel and climb onto that so-called pseudo fun looking bicycle and once we start falling, we wail and grunt and cry like a brat. There was not much of as escape when we haven’t surpassed adolescent without the slightest knowledge of rebellion. All in all, it was as a matter of fact a good thing due to the fact that we are actually facing reality and not finding any hole to escape from it. No vents were invented when we were 6 or 7 (I started cycling at that age, or was it earlier?) 

Afternoon sushi session with the close ones

What about now? We tend to escape from reality, all of us have the desire to do so no matter how much good we posses. There are times where we prefer to pretend that the problem does not even exist when in fact, is bigger than an actual person standing and stunted in front of our face. It does not make us any coward; we’re just fragile and paranoid to face any pain or agony that might come in our way. We turn to bad habits because they allow us to forget. Escaping gives us a pleasurable sensation that pushes problems out of our minds. However, they downfall of this solution is that it’s only temporary. Soon it will wear off and the problem will still remain static, often made worse by our self-indulgence. Once again, the cycle repeats only that this time, the after effect is snowballed. We feel pain each time we face reality so we dig out own gap or desperately find any leak just so that we can escape which only increases our pain. It feels impossible to get out once you are caught in the whirlpool of escapism. 

Ice-cream cake made by a close friend of mine on my birthday, and yes.. it's written as Ian. 

We explode, letting our emotions take control over us. We say hurtful things just to please ourselves and make us feel better not knowing that it carries an even worse effect to the people around us. You feel like quitting and giving up on every single thing just to make an ultimate gate-away from all that is hassling, but by the wrong intentions it will only bring more hurt, more pain and the problem still remains. Writing this because I myself enjoy escaping, however there is more that is than escaping; is to witness others’ escape and yet I can’t do anything about it.

Dandelion Says

We don't lose friends. 

 We just learn who our real ones are.

Pseudo

When did people in this world become so fake and superficial? Is it due to aging and growth, we began loosing the innocence that we used to posses when we were young? Or is it really because we are adapting into an entire new spectrum of pseudo effect as we mingle in different societies, blending in people from all walks of life and the sole and only way to fit in is to have a mask suspended over our face just to ensure what stays on the external layer remains how it is. 

All the petty talks, trifling and piddling all over as we communicate between one another, seriously do all have to begin with all of these that obvious plays zero significance or whatsoever. We know that you clearly don’t meant what to say but you just say it for the sake of it. Such grimacing act, superficial and shallow I find them. Maybe you say that it’s for the sake of courtesy, may be…. But entirely redundant.

1Malaysia BBQ

A real '1Malaysia' barbecue indeed I had together with my close friends and a portion of my other batch mates, apparently Eelin's decision to gather more people to expand our social circle. Are we really afraid of mingling with people of different skin tone, race and religion? I am not ashamed to admit that, before I get into any relationship with a person of different background from me; there has to be a filtration process by which I ensure that they can fully accept the ‘dark side’ of me. That is what I normally label it.

I've been too lazy to update on most of the happenings in the present; I blame on my deteriorating English, blame on monotonous things which I think of all the time, same thing, same issue with no solution because my life is that monotonous and meaningless at the present. Literally nothing to look forward to.

Supposed to be a jolly post, I played dodge ball by the way. 

不要过分在乎身边的人，也不要刻意去在意他人的事。在这世上，总会有人让你悲伤、让你嫉妒、让你咬牙切齿。并不是他们有多坏，而是因为你很在乎。所以想心安，首先就要不在乎。你对事不在乎，它就伤害不到你；你对人不在乎，他就不会令你生气。在乎了，你就已经输了。什么都不在乎的人，才是无敌的。

Don't Expect Things To Be Like Tulips

The thing about spring is the sun, tulips and having leisure, unpremeditated walks just to clear off one’s mind. Often I find myself being too bothered at things that are unrelated to myself but somehow my tedious over working brain may eventually relate a string or two. Wouldn’t it be nice to stop wondering too much? It’s as if I need to remind myself constantly in every single blog post for no particular reason or just because I fail to face the fact and I am not willing to admit that I’m a total wreck in dealing with my inner alter ego. I clandestinely wonder whether I am submissive to mild bipolar disease or not, just because I cannot identify myself at times.

So what if things are not similar to how I expected them to be? I've always assumed that self-proclaimed assumptions may not vary to an extend beyond my tolerance but apparently they DO sometimes. It's my decision, nothing to regret about. 

No regrets, just not as I had expected things to be. Out of reach, out of presumption. I guess it's time for me to swallow most of the things down, bitter or sweet. 

Espresso, Alcohol, You

I enjoy observing expressions, especially those ingenuous, undisputed, genuine facial articulations written on their faces. Noticed how I love taking candid photographs that normally irritate people to a certain extend? I just love preserving that “exact” split microseconds of memories; and these memories will be those that are worth a lifetime. 

I just turned 21 a couple of days ago; I was attempted to blog exactly on that day or at least attempt some alterations on my blog setting just so that I can have the exact dame date as I age a year older. Fraud much? I can never comprehend the amazing, genius minds of an author, how can they suppress and express their ideas when their grey matters are strike by a dash of inspiration and overflowing ideas to write? For my case, I fail to do so; hence the more I blog, the more words I use, the more thoughts are crammed, which clearly explains why I’m in med school instead of striving my arse in a battle of Fine Arts.

A simple dinner in a new restaurant in a circumference of where I previously stay with a group of people I love. I'm grateful for the care and love I share with them.