Chemistry done. 2 more to go, Physics this upcoming Monday.

40 Degrees & Berry

Finally, I’m done with Organic Chemistry; no more memorizing endless structures of carbohydrates, heterocyclic compounds, configurations, DNA etc. 2 more exams left for finals, Physics due this Monday. It’s hard to believe that I’m about to end my 1st year of med school in less than a week but I’m crawling slowly trying to pull myself through this dragging exams.

Views taken from lecture hall while attending consultation for Chemistry, buildings like this makes it feel like I’m in Europe. So near yet so far.

Shoes that are made for exams, accompanied me through this rocky roads of pressure and stress; ups and downs and endless emotional fluctuation.

Had some yoghurt ice cream with various toppings you can choose from in Snow Berry with Lily, Jun & Mike. I had fresh strawberries and chocolate scrapings as toppings while Mike’s one has gummy bears. Treat for summer, a blazing mere 40 degrees of intense heat.  

Jun with her artwork of colouring a from a child’s colouring book lying on the tables in the store, a mutated bulldog 'humping' over 2 parrots, or if you'd rather say 'caught'. Last outing before Lily & Jun leaves back to Malaysia.

Bummer that sales are everywhere and I’m stuck in the hostel facing 2 more exams, it’s killing the crap out of me and by the time I’m done with them and free for some retail therapy, all the sizes will be gone leaving extra plus sizes for Europeans.

Grad 2011

Attended another year of senior’s graduation last Saturday, seeing them in graduating robes makes me feel so nostalgic just like last years’. The ones that brought us up, changed our lives and inspired us to do many things. I really learn a lot from them.

Future doctors in their graduation robes.

Family photo of us and Dr. Kelvin Yii – Cell group leader, J.E founder, basically a leader of all.

My creative/innovative mentor whom I really find him inspiring, boss of media – Dr. Xun Jin

Dr. Chai – Pride of VSMU who won almost every academic award  throughout the years

Dr. Cherrie – always looking fashionable and stylish with her lookbook outfits

Another 2 more years till sis’ turn

Our J.E family photo

Thanks for being such inspiration to us, I’ve certainly learn so much from everyone here, may you all be motivators and inspiration to everyone else in your working days.

Summer Drops

This year’s summer has been awkwardly different, maybe God really answered my exact prayers – to have a summer with splendid weather. The sort of weather with bright, sunny sun that gently sweeps across the cheeks and not the type that ‘corrodes', wait is it corrode? Worst than burn, scorch; like direct contact with a fire burning flame thrower.

I took zero pictures of all the flowers around thanks to a hectic semester that I had previously. Subjects are tough, like Organic Chemistry & Parasitology but I somehow miss them. I had a great Chemistry teacher, just that the subject itself doesn’t click with my brain, and memorizing parasites, diagnosis and treatments only makes me more of a paranoid on edible goods around me.

It rained abruptly these few days, feeling all guilty that I couldn’t sleep and obliged to face the mundane studying life. In fact, I feel like just dashing outside and walk along the streets under the rain.

Topman here is as good as outlets like Quiksilver in Malaysia, a huge label claiming to be 50% off but when you observe meticulously at the price tag, original price was doubled and finally it summed up back to the previous price after given a half price [not for all items of course]. Thank goodness for being always conscious and observant at goods around me, makes me feel like a smart consumer.

Biology done, 3 more papers to go. Chemistry this coming Thursday. Shit

Soft-boiled Eggs

Never did I know that a simple soft-boiled egg can have such an immense effect of reminiscence of childhood. Dad used to make them for me every single morning from primary school till secondary school. I was desperate to get myself a soft-boiled egg maker the other day,  like the ones sold back in my hometown but never bother to pay any attention since I got dad to make them for me.

A senior of mine was selling hers for a second hand price but alas, was slightly slower and someone bought them already. I posted on Facebook regarding this and little did I know… I gained some advices from seniors on how to make soft-boiled eggs.

Add in the eggs into a container with a lid, pour in hot boiling water, close the lid and wait for approximately 5 minutes. Repeat steps 2 times, serves perfectly well with soy sauce and pepper.

That was what I got from Bernard. My dad used to make me a mug of Milo until… I changed it to coffee and eggs.

It’s not the matter of being too simple to make or whatsoever, it’s the effort and care of a father towards his spoilt son.

Strawberry & Sweet Weekend

I had one of the most memorable weekends ever, not that my previous weekends were dull and monotonous; just that for this period of time, this weekend felt nice in a way it should be.

I had my very last family dinner with Kelvin, Lily, Mike & Jun; as much as I was looking forward to it… at the same time I was reluctant for it. Last dinner since Kelvin or Dr. Kelvin will be heading back to Kuching and begin his life as a doctor. It was a decent dinner at ‘Le Balcon’ and later we had deserts in McDonald’s, an entire table full of large ice creams.

Just like memories, sweet. I will definitely miss cell group sessions with my family. Hopefully this will not be our last. 

Praise & worship

At the same time, it was also our very last J.E Sunday service for the semester with fellow 6th year seniors who will be graduating this Saturday. Praise & worship, prayers and just gathering can make me feel so much in spirit & connected to God. I never regretted going for service, even at the utmost peak of hectic cycles because it’s a place where I find peace, serenity and tranquility.

A place so special no other place and provide.

Like what Mr. President Akinola said ‘Thank God for friends we can all as family.”

Wall decorations in one of my favourite dining place ‘Highway’

The learning process doesn’t stop. As we walk along this journey, we maybe misled and confused. As a matter of fact a friend of mine recently fell into the abyss of confusion and I would really want you guys to pray hard so that God could open up her heart once again.

Cactus on the table

I saw video that my dear friend sent to me this evening, ‘Why would Jesus bother dying for us when He could enjoy life in heaven?” The answer to it really stroke my heart… apart from Him loving us so much, it is because ‘we are worth it’.

Spicy chicken & Bacon pizza for lunch

Words that my leader Keat Leong mentioned: “Other religions are about man connecting to God, but in Christianity, its about God connecting to us men. That is why, in John 3:16- Jesus was sent to die for our sins. he paid the price for us to go to heaven.”

Strawberry ice-cream cake

To sum up my weekend, I had a strawberry ice cream cake made by Jacquelyn. She insisted that it will be terrible and wanted to dump into the dustbin but trust me.. anything with ice-cream, fresh strawberries especially at the moment of sugar rush heals all tired and withered souls.

… last but not least, to my awesome Dad.

HAPPY DADDYS DAY

Through Hardships

“We live in a scary world”. Nuff said.

Tongue-tied and all so squeamish of all the bad things that had been reverberating around me; it’s not happening to me but striking the people around me. All these hardships are giving people heartaches as they dawdle along life, lie when they smiled. I feel bad not being able to reach out to lend a helping hand, as if I’m not feeling anything. It’s devastating, the feeling and implore of wanting to help but not being able to. Self conscious of an utmost dud failure. 

At moments like this, unknowingly I looked upon God wondering why is He giving men so much hardships? Yes, I know that God shouldn’t be hurled all the blame whenever there is something against out pleasant way of life, even more when we are facing an entire breakdown. We have to learn that all people suffer, whether or not they are righteous.

I used to take sufferings and hardships very seriously especially when they barged into my life at my weakest point, but always I will remember what Hsu Zane & sis Lily told me… that all this will only make a person stronger, and you’ll be a testimony of God’s miracle. A reminder so strong and powerful that it made me a person I am today, I started looking at things differently; through a Christian’s eye.

In fact I think that we should expect suffering to come, so our faith will not be shaken when it does.

Picture of Jacquelyn & Catherine, taken during summer outing

I would want to pray, pray that God sets us free from all the pain from the past and looses those who are suffering from bad memories. Please pray that all the grief and pain be broken in the life’s of those who are undergoing great torment, and that they experience wholeness and life and healing in spirit. Please pray that god makes everyone strong and help those in-need to overcome all the problems in life, though it maybe slow and everyone is going on all fours, begging for Your desperate help… that You may bring through the storms and be a testimony of Your great name.

 Thank you Amen.

Eggs

That was for supper, 2 hard boiled eggs with soy sauce, dinner was 4 slices of bread with jam and a huge mug of milo. Went to the store to get my sling bag fixed, replaced the previous buckle and some sewing job for less than MYR10, most efficient store to repair from everything to anything.

7 more days till Biology, notes are piling up but input is being stagnant.   

American Kay is back in Malay land; loads have been happening in my hometown. Things that make me think twice or even trice when people are patronizing about Malaysia. You get the point.

8,30 lecture tomorrow, I challenged myself to be up by 7 to prepare breakfast. 

Broccoli

I feel less Asian everytime I ditched the archetypal meal plus rice dinner; pan fried some potatoes, broccoli, and buttered mushrooms with pepper. An entire sack of potatoes costs less than MYR5 whereas a bunch of broccoli costs more than MYR10. Is it even called a bunch?

On the other hand, got a pair of VANS sneakers to replace my 4 year old basic black Converse for less than $20, I used to enjoy online shopping from the states but now that I find stuff selling at wholesale price as low as less than $1… I declare my love towards China/Japan/Korea. 

Will start placing orders when I’m done with finals, traveling & humanitarian mission trip for summer.

Exam Cycle

eat, sleep, die, revive, study, pretend to study, pretend to study even more, eat, sleep, poop, die, sleep, eat, sleep, die, pee, American Dad season 3, study, so-called study, pretend to so-called study, American Dad season 4, eat, sleep, torrent American Dad season 5, study, pretend to do notes, eat sleep, die, revive, sleep . . .

… and the cycle continues for a few more days when finals actually starts on 25th June.

Half the batch of final year seniors are done with exams and the other half together with them will be official doctors in less than 24 hours and my exams haven’t even started yet. Depressing to a state I want to stab myself, die, revive and re-stab over and over again.

11 more days till finals. Life is soooooo awesome, and my eating habits have gone all haywire I started eating oats for dinner.

Freshly Brewed

The rare, unwonted moments when I wake up as early as 9.15AM and have McDonald’s breakfast with Mike, Dennis & Leetz. In the heat of summer sunshine, the gaiety, guffawing, chuckling and witticism and some other stuff (if you get what I mean) accompanied by hash browns, omelet, jam with butter and a morning dose of coffee.  

Craving for green tea latte from Starbucks, the last time I had one of these was during my last summer outing with Gab & Amy.

That’s the life I desire for when I retire. Morning breakfast of half-boiled eggs with garlic bread, freshly brewed coffee and a morning paper. I’m starting to think like an old man already.

Antisocial Freak

So, I was listening to this album by an unknown guy called Eric Saade, nothing much worth to recommend. Just some random blast of pop, electric sort of music typically sang by those metrosexual male artists that combs their hair so high up in order to look like Edward Cullen.

The type of music where I torrent an entire album and deletes them one by one and maybe end up with just one sole song but never bother to play it ever again.

‘Break of Dawn’ by Eric Saade

Got myself a pair of skinny, vintage, beige coloured pants, wanted to get 2 pairs plus another faded skinny jeans but apparently I find it pricey since it exceeds my budget.

Sunday chat with a buddy, this shows how an antisocial freak I am:

Chong: ‘So-and-so’ find you, asked to meet up with you.
Brat: =S He changed so much I can barely recognize him already.
Chong: Yeah, like adult literally adult!
Brat: Scary
Chong: =.= ‘hao lian’

Ignore

Taking people’s advice:

“Just ignore it, it’s their fault… why bother if they want to declare to it to the entire world?” 

What’s the point of forcing people to be the same? Redundant to ponder upon gibberish things.

Everyone serve a purpose, no matter how smart we think we are or how stubborn we are when it comes to accepting others who are of different poles compared to us, or even when we are not the best of friends… it’s tolerating that’s important.

It’s hard to change people.

Latrodectus Tredecimguttatus

Month of June, beginning of summer when temperature hits up to 30 and above these days. Where literally everyone is busy cramming, studying and hitting on books preparing for finals while others get busy getting married.  

Of all places, this emo girl just has to stand directly in front of the bride when I was stalking.

Back to Parasitology, why does a black widow own such a long name ‘Latrodectus tredecimguttatus’ as well as all the other species in Arthropods… make in e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g in Parasitology owning insanely long, complicated names and different ways of diagnosis and treatment medicines.

Na Na Na (Na Na Na…)

Life is ironic, not in a poetic, philosophical, metaphysical, literature-ish way. Just straight forward irony.

It’s either I have no idea on keeping up with interesting contents to blog about when I have nothing happening around me, or I am bombarded with too many happenings which ended up jumbling and squeezing everything within a single post which also indirectly serves its purpose as an uninteresting blogpost. The dead wall, writer’s block of a blogger. Shame on myself for being a self-proclaimed blogger. I’m pointing this out because I realised you can see infinite self-descriptions of people from all walks of life claiming to be ‘bloggers’ but in reality when I enter their blog, all I get in return is a huge pile of claptrap posts filled with gibberish and blarney entries.

Useless to the core to even bother to sign up for a blog; and who I am to judge? I just want to.

I’m going to start a jam-packed entry on things I wish to do but have no motivation or whatever to make me to but yet still complains repeatedly like a machine gun on wanting to do it BUT finally end up not doing it; I’m crap.

I started of a healthy eating plan weeks ago, I won’t label it as diet since majority of the race in this world have stereotype thinking that the terminology ‘diet’ associates with obese/anorexia/bulimic scrapes of society. Partly it’s to improve facial condition since sleep deprived and late night sleeps caused me severe skin issues. Again! The typical stereotype minded people that will have in mind ‘What??! What’s a guy doing so much caring about his skin?!’ Homosexual much?’ 

Well, these are the people who are meant for the toilet bowl; yes flush your face in it several times please.

However, thanks to E-Coli outbreak in certain areas in Europe… I confined myself by not having salad and once again resolve back to my old way of cooking. Unlike Malaysia whereby food outside can be easily bought or take out, not forgetting to mention the price. Compared to food in Russia, I could have a tiny set of sushi here in Russia in exchange of 10 bowls of Kuching Laksa.

Mike & I recently got a hand blender, the sort that you get to see in ‘Master Chef’ or any other related series and yes… it IS as amazing as it looks. From everything to anything, smoothies to juices to sauces and I have yet to make my own mayonnaise despite the simple recipe I got from Gordon Ramsay [I met him on Youtube of course].   

*****

Cut the chase on food, I finally settled my tickets for Mission Trip this summer to Sibu. Approximately half an hour flight from Kuching but nevertheless it’s all for the experience and deed. Still not required to do practical for 1st year hence, I shall plan out my schedule for my summer holidays; in a way of pretending to be impelled and pushed you see.

My parcel finally arrived, impressed with the attire that I ordered online especially the pair of VANS sneakers that costs me less than $20.00 and several striped shirts since I’ve been crazy about them. Got a date with a few friends this weekend for a little shopping since there is sales on ‘bottoms-wear’ like vintage slacks and denims.

Gosh I wish money grew on tree.

*****

Finals in less than a month, as dreadful and tormenting as it seemed… I’m going to sleep through it. Did I mentioned that I felt asian after having lunch with Leetz, Dennis & Eelin in some Chinese eating place? What’s with the Chinese all of a sudden?

It’s because I’m living in Russian land, having friends from all colours, speaking in languages more than I can calculate with my hand and when it muddles up you get a messy cultured person. 

By the way, it’s a My Chemical Romance track if you’re wondering what the heck is wrong with my blog title.

Internal Fight

This feeling is strong but yet undefined; really.

For once I couldn’t explain what is it, no matter how meticulous I ponder upon it, it’s just another round in the abyss.

Words, conversations; big or small; long or short it all doesn’t matter. I see this as weakness, like a thrust into the mind if one fails to ‘balance’.

Maybe I’m loosing that balance, which I am afraid of.

Staring at the truth but being a hypocrite as usual and not wanting to face it. ‘Right on the face brat! B-A-M!!’ I swift aside and pretended steadily as if nothing happened. As much as I’m ashamed of it, I collapsed if I were to face it myself.

Pretending, not being afraid. That’s just an utter of the outside, but what lies inside tells me that it’s actually pretending to not be afraid but in reality..

The dilemma, the cortex, cerebral, the brain. Why so complicated you ask me?

Someday it will all make sense, but when the someday actually arrives.

I know that it will be the day I am not myself, or actually changed into another person.

Better or not? I am not able to foresee that, but it will definitely not be identical to the current me.

Testimony. Inspiring

Cherrie Chan

As requested by Cherrie Chan. Good luck in final year exams!

Courtesy of Mike on these shots. Realised how clear my pictures are? Well, I’ve got them all taken by professional DSLR.

Still Got Tonight

Dozing off the night as I fill myself with songs by Matthew Morrison, caught up a bit on Arthropods for next week’s Bio colloq. Made myself a decent dinner of pasta and pan friend mushroom in butter sauce.

One of the nights that is able to satisfy one’s desperate need of bliss, sounds easy but onerous to achieve.

“Don't hate God for not giving you what you really want.
Thank Him for giving you what you really need”