You Are 56% Real |
 You're pretty real with people, but you can't help hiding a good part of yourself. You're not truly happy with who you are at times... and believe it or not, it shows. Try not to hide parts of your life from the people who matter to you. Your friends and family are probably a lot more accepting than you realize! |
Friday, 29 August 2008
How Real Are You?
Soap Ion and Spermatozoa
Aaron: Why are there sperms in your chemistry note book? (Flipping my note book)
Me: Where got?
Aaron: Nah! See!! Sperm cells in water!! Hahaha
Me: *SWEAT* Wu liaw you… That is cleansing action of soap ion in water la.
Aaron: Hahah…Soap where got like that?! The hydrocarbon chain like that one meh?
Me: Correct la.
Aaron: Hydrocarbon tail should be drawn zigzag la, yours is like the tail part of a sperm. Unless you use sperms to clean grease. Hahahaha
Me: Sickening. You then ejaculate into your washing machine to clean your clothes.
Aaron: Then you masturbate into your sink then. Huh!
Me: SICK! Side effects of "nerdifying" yourself on chemistry and biology..
Aaron: At least I don’t draw soap ions as sperms like YOU.
Me: Whatever~
Me: Where got?
Aaron: Nah! See!! Sperm cells in water!! Hahaha
Me: *SWEAT* Wu liaw you… That is cleansing action of soap ion in water la.
Aaron: Hahah…Soap where got like that?! The hydrocarbon chain like that one meh?
Me: Correct la.
Aaron: Hydrocarbon tail should be drawn zigzag la, yours is like the tail part of a sperm. Unless you use sperms to clean grease. Hahahaha
Me: Sickening. You then ejaculate into your washing machine to clean your clothes.
Aaron: Then you masturbate into your sink then. Huh!
Me: SICK! Side effects of "nerdifying" yourself on chemistry and biology..
Aaron: At least I don’t draw soap ions as sperms like YOU.
Me: Whatever~
Friday, 22 August 2008
Princess' Birthday
SELF-PROCLAIMED PRINCESS IS HAVING HER BIRTHDAY (23th August)HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELICITY ALICIA JONES
Wednesday, 20 August 2008
Crap Confession
I felt a sudden sentiment of betrayal with a fusion of melancholy tone, not because I am being betrayed but psychologically the feeling evoked abruptly beyond my controls and it is simply difficult for me to elucidate.
I have a particular social circle with a group of great loyal friends. I must admit… I treat people by the way they treated me. I am cognizant that being close or even by knowing a person is already considered a gift, regardless of whether the person treated you the way you treated them. However, I consider myself as an individual who owns a vastly complicated mind compared to normal people from all walks of life. I do care how people place me through their eyes. Is it a typical street guy? Or someone truly significant? Maybe just a normal friend or acquaintance? Perhaps a loyal, special friend to be remembered for life?
People might think that I squander all my leisure time thinking about unnecessary things which may only lead to an extreme complexity to a human’s mental state. In other words, I maybe end up insane or suffering from psychotherapeutic illness. All the crap I supposed. I rebuff that and I am conscious of the way I see things. Nevertheless, I made up a conclusion to keep a distance from people around me. Consider it a gaffe or sage move? I may be a hypocrite, unable to face the somber and grief that some friends may leave and forget me someday. Thus, by keeping a certain distance with them the pain may be alleviated. Logical rationality? I have my own reasons…
I don’t mind if I appear to be someone insignificant through a person. The phrase seemed deceiving and again it reveals the hypocrisy in me. Honestly, I do mind. I share everything with someone whom I treated as a true and great friend by assuming that I may be someone special in their hearts. Sadly, I don’t. I might only appear to be someone who appears only when there is trouble and sooner or later fades away – like the rain. I am aware that this is my own fault to develop such sensitivity and complexity that I care too much about how others look at me…perhaps? I feel a sudden sense of betrayal, yet I am not betrayed…only that I treated someone as a true friend and in return I am insignificant or appear as an ordinary being in a mundane society. Again… I hid my disappointment in the abyss.
I don’t have intention to blame anyone…but frankly my feelings and the way I treat them will change. Who was betraying me anyway? Myself. I shall only put on a wistful smile.
I have a particular social circle with a group of great loyal friends. I must admit… I treat people by the way they treated me. I am cognizant that being close or even by knowing a person is already considered a gift, regardless of whether the person treated you the way you treated them. However, I consider myself as an individual who owns a vastly complicated mind compared to normal people from all walks of life. I do care how people place me through their eyes. Is it a typical street guy? Or someone truly significant? Maybe just a normal friend or acquaintance? Perhaps a loyal, special friend to be remembered for life?
People might think that I squander all my leisure time thinking about unnecessary things which may only lead to an extreme complexity to a human’s mental state. In other words, I maybe end up insane or suffering from psychotherapeutic illness. All the crap I supposed. I rebuff that and I am conscious of the way I see things. Nevertheless, I made up a conclusion to keep a distance from people around me. Consider it a gaffe or sage move? I may be a hypocrite, unable to face the somber and grief that some friends may leave and forget me someday. Thus, by keeping a certain distance with them the pain may be alleviated. Logical rationality? I have my own reasons…
I don’t mind if I appear to be someone insignificant through a person. The phrase seemed deceiving and again it reveals the hypocrisy in me. Honestly, I do mind. I share everything with someone whom I treated as a true and great friend by assuming that I may be someone special in their hearts. Sadly, I don’t. I might only appear to be someone who appears only when there is trouble and sooner or later fades away – like the rain. I am aware that this is my own fault to develop such sensitivity and complexity that I care too much about how others look at me…perhaps? I feel a sudden sense of betrayal, yet I am not betrayed…only that I treated someone as a true friend and in return I am insignificant or appear as an ordinary being in a mundane society. Again… I hid my disappointment in the abyss.
I don’t have intention to blame anyone…but frankly my feelings and the way I treat them will change. Who was betraying me anyway? Myself. I shall only put on a wistful smile.
Monday, 18 August 2008
Friday, 15 August 2008
Dull Friday
It takes more than a miracle for me to wake up as early as 8 yesterday; I must admit I am an inveterate compulsive nocturnal being by night that wakes up in the afternoon for breakfast and I avow that it’s not due to complacency. Amazingly, I abandoned my wake-up-late habits and woke up as early as 8.30 am. Holidays have always been blissful, less pressure from strained teachers, adequate time to rest my demented brain and most notably… I got the opportunity to extricate from monotonous lessons and the occasionally mundane life in school. I was typically lethargic to move my phalanges about the keyboard and type an endless post, so I decided to blog the main gist happening on Friday.- woke up at 8.30 am
- read my History text book
- called Vicky for no particular reason
- borrows a book called "Cheese" from mum
- dig into Additional Maths
- snooze for 2 hours
- went for BM tuition with Diana
- did an essay about "usaha mengembalikan minat terhadap karya sastera dalam kalangan masyarakat".
- Kelvin's phone rang during tuition which cause an outburst of laughter
- received a note from PBK stating that I haven't paid the fees for August
- class ended at 9.00 pm
- screamed for joy when I saw my darling cousin, Irene back from KL
- got my Twilight series from her (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse)
- owe dad a whole sum of money after he paid the books for me
- met Ivy on the way back
- received text messages from Jemuel and Vivi
- read my twilight books
- slept at 2 am.
Vivi's Birthday
A birthday wish to someone I've bullied since form 1.
VIVI NELSON (13th August)
- Japan fanatic
- Self-proclaimed artiste
- Addicted to green
- Constant babbler
- Dwarf-like
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Chicken Pox & Foetus
My blog has been in deep slumber for eons. I have been infected by a virus generally known as Chicken Pox for the past several days; forlornly the effects are still visible. First a fever struck me and the next thing you know tiny disgusting red puffy spots with liquid appeared everywhere. I got a sick leave for 4 days, causing me to skip 8 papers (BM I, II, English I, II, History I, II, Chinese II, and Moral). Visiting the doctor burned a total of RM70 just for a bottle of Calamine lotion, paracetamol, anti-bacterial tablets and itch tablets. My form teacher was kind enough to call up and told me to reseat the examinations at home under my father’s surveillance, in other words studying is still inexorable. Tuitions are also bound to be cancelled as my face has been mutated. Sigh… I should consider wearing a mask out.
Vivi has been ravenously thoughtful by sending me text messages regarding the school’s high light everyday (she has potential to be an excellent paparazzi). I received appalling news about a discovery of a dead foetus in the lady’s latrine!!!!! Day one, the teacher was informed by the school’s cleaner about a pool of menstrual discharge in a toilet bowl of one of the girl’s toilet. Several days later, they found a dead foetus. Apparently, that particular girl failed her first attempt to abort her unborn baby and succeeded during her second trial. Until now the one who is responsible for the illegal abortion is still unidentified, clearly she is too embarrass to admit such merciless act. Now the school has evolved from an archetypal school into a place for dumping babies, which is inevitably a nauseating thought.
Tuesday, 5 August 2008
Open Up
I am cognizant of the fact that I had been putting on a translucent mask over my countenance for the past years. I am being assiduous and meticulous not to reveal the weakest side of my true character. Maybe it is because I am raised as a single child without any siblings and the intense pressure from parents or people from all walks of life around me, thus I always attempt to be the best in most aspects in order to satisfy them. I must admit the effort of being determined and resilient is certainly not my own complacency.
I’m in an appalling predicament whereby all the problems and trouble eventually emerged from the abyss. Is this one of God’s challenge to me as a noble Christian to test whether I am capable to loop over hurdles and obstacles from my archetypal life? Prayer heals spiritually but I doubt that I am strong enough to face all this. Facing the circumstances ahead of me has definitely made me weaker, both physically and mentally. But I still persist on my temporary act by putting on a mask in front of everybody; my life is akin to a drama or theater. I must admit that I simply couldn’t face my own weaknesses yet I utter to myself that I have to show to people around me that I am strong and independent of solving my own issues. Realizing the reality of myself growing up alone amended me into an individual who lives more of an extrovert.
Friends are usually deceived by my strong and resilient side, always seeking me for advice and guidance to their troubles. Unnoticed, I faced a dead end myself if I come across my personal problems. They seemed to grow and intensifies as I burry the deeply in my heart’s core, I was too feeble to reveal them. I rarely seek help from others; I always believe that if I do so it may give others an impression that I am an individual who is weak and fragile. Hence, my friends barely had any worries about me. Even if they do realise my sudden change in attitude, I would hide my somber demeanor a pretend as if nothing had happened. I live my life as a hypocrite.
People changed and they don’t seem to care or be concerned about my problems. I didn’t blame those who used to concern about my problems in the past; they have their own life circles and it is inevitable that every individual changes with time. I cannot simply rely on others to solve or listen to my ranting and worries all the time. Thus I convinced myself to be strong even though it is an endless displacement ahead of me; I cannot face another saddening loss. Perhaps it is the time I learn to grow up independently?
I expressed my greatest gratitude to someone who holds up to me, giving me hope and support as I walk along the journey of my life. I may appear to be a tiny, itty-bitty insignificant person to him but to me; I honestly look upon him as my very own big brother and most importantly a true friend. I had already lost two very important people whom I trust the most and showed heed to my problems. The pain is inexorable but nothing can be done, they only live in precedent now. I came to a decision to live my life truthfully, taking off the bogus mask I had on for many years and stop pretending to be what I used to be in the past. Here is a quote that he gave me:
Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. Hiding your hurt only intensifies it. Problems grow in the dark and become bigger and bigger, but when exposed to the light of truth, they shrink. You are only as sick as your secrets. So take off your masks, stop pretending you’re perfect and walk into freedom.
I’m in an appalling predicament whereby all the problems and trouble eventually emerged from the abyss. Is this one of God’s challenge to me as a noble Christian to test whether I am capable to loop over hurdles and obstacles from my archetypal life? Prayer heals spiritually but I doubt that I am strong enough to face all this. Facing the circumstances ahead of me has definitely made me weaker, both physically and mentally. But I still persist on my temporary act by putting on a mask in front of everybody; my life is akin to a drama or theater. I must admit that I simply couldn’t face my own weaknesses yet I utter to myself that I have to show to people around me that I am strong and independent of solving my own issues. Realizing the reality of myself growing up alone amended me into an individual who lives more of an extrovert.
Friends are usually deceived by my strong and resilient side, always seeking me for advice and guidance to their troubles. Unnoticed, I faced a dead end myself if I come across my personal problems. They seemed to grow and intensifies as I burry the deeply in my heart’s core, I was too feeble to reveal them. I rarely seek help from others; I always believe that if I do so it may give others an impression that I am an individual who is weak and fragile. Hence, my friends barely had any worries about me. Even if they do realise my sudden change in attitude, I would hide my somber demeanor a pretend as if nothing had happened. I live my life as a hypocrite.
People changed and they don’t seem to care or be concerned about my problems. I didn’t blame those who used to concern about my problems in the past; they have their own life circles and it is inevitable that every individual changes with time. I cannot simply rely on others to solve or listen to my ranting and worries all the time. Thus I convinced myself to be strong even though it is an endless displacement ahead of me; I cannot face another saddening loss. Perhaps it is the time I learn to grow up independently?
I expressed my greatest gratitude to someone who holds up to me, giving me hope and support as I walk along the journey of my life. I may appear to be a tiny, itty-bitty insignificant person to him but to me; I honestly look upon him as my very own big brother and most importantly a true friend. I had already lost two very important people whom I trust the most and showed heed to my problems. The pain is inexorable but nothing can be done, they only live in precedent now. I came to a decision to live my life truthfully, taking off the bogus mask I had on for many years and stop pretending to be what I used to be in the past. Here is a quote that he gave me:
Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. Hiding your hurt only intensifies it. Problems grow in the dark and become bigger and bigger, but when exposed to the light of truth, they shrink. You are only as sick as your secrets. So take off your masks, stop pretending you’re perfect and walk into freedom.
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