Jun

Happy Birthday Jun, lots of love & hugs from Lily, Mike & myself 

Nice Spice

Did I mention to you that I have very little Indian friends before I came here? Blame the scattered diversity of race in Malaysia dividing those in the East & West. Apparently I only had one before I knew Kaliz. Having absolutely zilch of knowledge towards the Indian culture, let alone Indian cuisine. Maybe the only thing I could label as Indian-associated items were roti canai, sari, chapatti and of course curry & Deepavali. It was our pleasure to have Kaliz cooking all morning at Dennis’ place just to gather a few of us for an amazing Diwali lunch. 

There was sambal chicken, chicken curry, dal, papadam, mixed vegetables and thanks to Dennis & Leet Liang we had Longan as beverages to chill down the spiciness though it was merely spicy, merely satisfactory according to my taste buds’ stimulation level towards pain.

A great afternoon, with a great deal of photography session; apparently photographs are still lodged in Mike’s DSLR and I lost all my patience waiting for him to upload them in Facebook. On the other hand, Dennis’ place is nicely decorated with Japanese orientated Noren.

Believe, In Order To See

The many faces of those in cell group

A revelation made indeed, till today I never felt more grateful for the solid foundation laid by my previous seniors who founded Jesus Embassy (J.E). Thanks to them, J.E has evolved massively. From daily night prayers I used to have with Hsu Zane, Lily, Jun & Mike to weekly cell group lead by Kelvin to the recent new fellowship we had along with new juniors. So much has grown for the past 3 years, from a tiny gathering of people countable with handful of people to a group from us gathering here every week to share and study the word of God.

Praise & worship has never been the same without these people; I’ve always tell myself that I could really not find any place like here, seems that whenever I head back home for summer break, the thing I missed the most is service and gathering with a bunch of ‘family members’.

Today’s cell was beyond extraordinarily, decided to go for a twist by focusing on words & thoughts shared among us on how God changed our lives. Indeed, we know that the Bible is a living proof of His words & actions. Likewise, learning from people’s experience is the prime method of knowing more about God. Priceless testimonies and experience on how God changed our lives and how God touched us, it really drives me speechless whenever I have in mind how amazing our God is. In fact, the word amazing itself isn’t sufficient to entirely describe his mercy and power.

Something that really stroke me for the night, a verse shared by one of the cell members, “It’s typical for any normal human being to see in order to believe; but for us Christians, it is always vital for us to believe in order to see.” Our regular prayer routine begins with a short gratitude, comparable it continues on with a long endless list of requests and needs and most probably we’d end it with a short note of forgiveness and reminder. God knows everything, He knows what are our desires and eagerness; needless for us to rephrase to remind him. But what we should do is to actually have faith and trust and actually believe in what He is capable of despite the fact that it might be subjective and un-measureable. He doesn’t work in any systematical way, instead all He ever wanted is to have trust and belief in Him and surrender it all entirely and He will do the rest. Blame skepticism and dubiousness that we are all familiar of; apparently we should ditch that thought and concede what we have to Him.

As I meditate through that, I constantly remind myself… God understands our desperation and hunger, nothing radical is needed to prove to Him whether we get what we deserve. He has plans for us, and all we need to do is just leave it to Him and get with the flow. It’s just that simple, hard to believe but it’s true.       

Ghost

I’ve been constantly reminding myself to do things immediately, evoking this retched mind of mine to avoid any procrastination. I recalled weeks ago, I set up a new to-do list in my iPod touch labeled ‘high priority’ with 3 bolded red stripes just so that I would be assiduous enough to snap some shots of autumn trees since it has yellowing for weeks. But believe it or not, despite carrying a digital camera to classes/lectures everyday I never tend to bother about it. Even a 3 bolded red striped ‘high priority’ reminder isn’t sufficient to spur up the tendency to do things instantaneously. 

The most recent event to prove that I wasn’t procrastinating was actually completing a quarter of pre-reading on Physiology 2 days earlier as well as Anatomy: Telencephalon and it made me felt like an omnipotent ruler.     

Seemingly, spent more than an hour plus chit chatting with my buddies and tweaking around the web cam after discovering this amazing ‘ghost’ effect. It creates semi-transparent, coloured, slow motion of those in view. Also, the starting the deluge of wall posts from friends surprised that I actually got a new hair cut. My 3rd year in Russia and this was the first time I actually got a proper hair cut from a professional; ostensibly I could not stand getting any imperfect hair cut from friends with flaws all over. Hence, I told the hair dresser I wanted it all short, really short.

The outcome of it, it actually took me approximately a week to accept this new look. Psychologically I normally think that an average hair cut will look at it’s best after 2 weeks, hence the vanity within me is escalating slightly as I think that my current hair style fits the most. Ditched the unnecessary bangs and fringe that the preponderance of Asians owned. Most importantly, it was well trimmed and no crooked holes snapping here and there. 

For now, there are lots of things to settle, endless events to be worried about, infinite amount of patience needed to face my everyday life.

Diwali

A little gathering after Physiology.
Happy Diwali to those celebrating

Pathetic

Been repeating, reiterating, recapitulating the same thought, phrase, word, verb, noun whatever that is in accordance the the term that has the same definition it processes over infinite times. Encountered a scene that I've seen more than any television commercial, akin to hitting the [pause] [play] [rewind] button more than anyone could count, pathetic. Nauseous and bilious as it looks, I have no rights but to just silently swallow every queasy and qualmish action. 

Why being so pathetic?   

Pancakes & Choc

What a gift the mornings we received every single day, not just any typical morning where classes/lectures or any form of stress source come slumping on us; but those Sunday morning that we are being apprised of having ultimate relaxation and an endless cascade of productivity.

Decided to drag my lazy bum up after a 9AM morning call to make pancakes and chocolate, 2 hours of endless talking, watching the stack of pancakes stretching out in heights. The final touch, melting bars of dark, bitter chocolates in fresh milk. Hands down! Divine as a thick flow of chocolate streamed through every piece of pancake, and what’s better than having these heavenly goods being shared around a circle of close friends? 

Now take a deep breath, feel your lungs expand and feel the calm and tranquility. Thanks for a perfect Sunday.

Condolence to Yueyue

I’m sure by now people from all walks of life have been stupefied by the death of Yueyue, the hit-and-run toddler case happened in China. It sparked an outpouring of sympathy and solicitude across nation and world wide. There was a slight chance of miracle when the toddler was not found dead after being run over by a vehicle not only once, but twice! Unfortunately even the best medication and intensive care could not revive the death of this poor soul; she failed to survive from the injuries.

Such agony and injury; physical or mentally; how much can a toddler like this endure? Another innocent human life wasted, literally wasted due to men’s own self-centeredness. Homo sapiens, when did we became so monstrous, heartless, merciless and evil? How is it possible that the standing 18 people witnessing such tragedy just got rooted there without any compassion or concern while others fled away acting as if nothing happened when there was an actual toddler dying on the streets on Foshan, China.

According to shanghaiist.com 

“ The first passerby, who is very likely to have witnessed what happened, walked around the girl, without even looking down to see what happened to her. Behind him was another man, who apparently also witnessed the accident, but decided to make a u-turn so he wouldn't have to come up close to the girl lying on the road. One cyclist took a brief look at the girl, but decided to cycle away as if nothing happened, and a fourth passerby also walked around the toddler.”

It was only when the body was ran over by another van; a dozen of people started to actually notice something. Bystanders leisurely made their move around the girl, who by this time was in a bloody mess. Most probably maybe took a glance or two and shifted away unsparingly. By God’s grace, finally a female scrap peddler decided to do something and it was only at this time, the girl’s mother appeared and rushed the girl to the hospital.

I read heaps and heaps of articles and news regarding what the world thinks about this, it is from the comment sections that I realised how screwed up and sick our human mind is apparently. Stereotypes will label the entire China or worst Chinese including Asians, thinking that they are also in the same boat as these 18 people that ignored a dead body. Comments claiming that they should be punished and sent to hell and a reply retorted that ‘Christians are scums’. What has this got to do with the entire nation of China and what does hell has to do with Christians? Humans can sacrifice so much financially, effort and time in overzealous attempt to modernize and globalize the world but failed badly in showing the slightest Pico meter of compassion and mercy.

Warning: The following video contains graphic images not suitable for all viewers.

In this current state, belief and mercy has been cleanly swiped off from the surface of the Earth. What has religion taught us before? There was a debate on whether a belief in God make more Good Samaritans out of us? As redundant as it may sound on why would people even bother to debate on such issue, there are people who voiced out their points. Some questioned why people might think that a belief in God would make one more moral. History (and the present) provides plenty of counter-examples; he on the other hand also never realised how history has brought immense changes to the world for those who believed in their respective religion. Some thinks that  a better solution than religion is for the government to enact Good Samaritan laws, and claimed that belief is something naive because it doesn’t stop any sort of violation, gangsterism, vandalism and any sort of social issues mushrooming every corner of the world. Rubbish, it is because humans are loosing their faith and submitting themselves to so-called reality and hence never trust God and finally turned all lost which finally lead them into the wilderness of evil and a den of iniquitous.  

Without god we are nothing, belief is something subjective and not every individual choose to believe it. I trust that each religion has a main purpose in making good Samaritans and disciples out of everyone, it is us who will choose whether to follow or not. Saying religion has nothing to do with making the best out of everyone is not only naive but stupid.

My deepest condolence to Yueyue and her parents, you will always be remembered.

Worth

“.. also, I have to be worried about you because no one else would."

-Grey's Anatomy season 7

You know those really bad times when you feel so restless, bare and naked without people who care for you and help you through those hard times. It’s like walking and wriggling wearily with a hefty, ponderous burden behind above your shoulders across an inky dark tunnel. At the same time, all you want to do is just screech with the loudest clamor blaming God for hurling such millstone.

“ WHY IS IT ON ME AND NOT ON SOMEONE ELSE?
WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE ALL OF THIS ?! ”

The onus is on you to show that you have suffered more than any other people; to tell people that you have grown from such dire consequences but most importantly to show how much faith & trust you have put on God as He guides you along the way. Unnoticed but true.

Moreover, to open and widen your eyes to see who actually stays by our side; hand in hand overcoming those moments when we’re giving up, loosing faith, literally dying in shame & forlorn. Maybe a handful of people or less will remain, but it doesn’t matter because those are the ones that are worth living for. 

Add Sugar To Egg

Sushi, it takes endless patience when it comes to rustling up a decent, fragrant, perfect sushi rice. It takes an ample amount of vinegar and sugar and the right rice in order to make sushi. Which I clearly fail at it and still crawling slowly learning and perfecting my culinary skills at it.  

Tagged along Eelin for an afternoon to roll up some of these and distribute it among some juniors and friends; never knew that adding sugar while stirring up and omelet can make it taste so much better. Eons I have underestimated this thing called sugar, never once I bothered about it apart from baking a pie or desert. Even a nice hot cup of milo/coffee doesn’t require sugar for me. Hence, the jar is forever left unattended and untouched. It’s like adding an entire new dimension to the particular jar of sugar in my cupboard. 

An Asian dish calls up for an Asian series [Why? It’s because I’m dead racist] , like how I’m watching a Korean series – City Hunter. Highly recommended, thumbs up.

Amputation

What does it feel to be amputated? Will we be able to feel the acute gush of agony, sharp pang of torment and throbbing pain? This thought just came to my mind, what is worst than having yourself being amputated? Let it be our own feet, or arms or maybe a mild finger?

I just saw a scene in Grey’s Anatomy season 7 episode one, don’t question be about why I just got started with episode one. Blame on the pile of workload I have to read everyday please, wait… blame my university, but then again blame me for choosing this course. That was a whole series of gibberish condemnation caused by yours truly.

Random picture of my shoes and a Fiona’s leopard’s slipper

There was a scene, whereby a lady accidently fell into a pit hole together with her husband and her legs were crushed by a vehicle who came crashing down on them. Orthopedics and medical officers came to the rescue but eventually they were unable to do much of a help due to fragile ground. Thus, they came down to a dreadful conclusion of persuading the husband to amputate his own wife’s legs above knee level. He was in tears, as he took a scalpel and began his move on her flesh. It was heartbreaking and cruel but that was the only way to save his wife’s life.

I asked a friend, stunned by his actions: “Will you do that in order to save someone else’s life?” He replied: “That’s a real challenge, it’s like hurting someone you love in order to save her…”

Ever come across the time when we hurt someone intentionally just because we’re trying to help and save them or preventing them from feeling even more hurtful? The feeling of remorse is unbearable I understand, just like amputating a part of someone you care. 

Ayam Masak Lemak

I’ve always been trying to stir up some Malay dishes, curry, rendang or anything similar to it seemed a bit difficult to me. Try and error maybe, but I’m a person that stresses on a one time success just to keep the motivation up considering the fact that I’m not a person who possesses strong enthusiasm in culinary and cookery.
   

Decided to start from the easiest, easy in a sense that ingredients can be obtained effortless; begging or simply asking from generous friends who shipped their stuff all the way from respective hometowns. Coconut milk, tumeric, ginger, onions all stirred up into a concoction of fragrant dish of ‘Ayam masak lemak’ or literally translated as ‘Chicken cooked in fat’.

Not bad for a first timer, would be served perfectly with ‘lontong’ . Shall attempt basic curry soon enough.

Received, Give

Note of paper while cramming Histology in study hall

Hard

“ It’s only when hard times, we can really see who our real friends are.”

I could not agree with this more, especially when you’re sinking leisurely; when there is neither help nor help. Just a slight grasp of faith you can hold on too, knowing that there might not be a miracle. We feel guilty for not trusting God, but it’s hard to put Him and reality primarily at times like this. Nevertheless, there is no harm to try.

Steve Jobs

I’m very proud to be an owner of a Macbook Pro; neither because it is fancy being labeled as an Apple product that people from all walks of life like to overrate it as, nor it is a gimmick simply because it sounds glamorous to elaborate any flamboyancy. Due to it’s design, simplicity, solid foundation of Macintosh & all the other reasons I can think of which is nothing comparable to Windows.

In fact, the pioneer and creator himself cannot be compared to anyone else; hence he is my idol – Steve Jobs.

I received a text as early as 7AM in the morning by Lily informing me that Steve Jobs died. Sooner after that several friends of mine texted me from various places, some questioning about his death, some expressing their grief. Further more, news feed on Facebook and Twitter feeds were bombarded by this tragedy. It was hard to swallow initially but sooner, I realised that it is true that our world has lost a legend.

Here I am typing on my Macbook Pro, one among the million pieces of gadgets he created; listening to songs on my iPod Touch. My idol lives forever, his inspiration will forever continue.

Harmonix

I was supposed to blog several days ago; but as usual when procrastination strikes in and workload just uninvitingly started to pile up with aversion. Such antipathy when it comes to several concluding tests in one go for a week, a decision to sacrifice my regular afternoon nap wishing that ‘just maybe’ I could have some additional time to prepare for other subjects other than pre-reading heavy subjects for the next day seemed to be redundant and superfluous since pre-reading itself is already insufficient for subjects such as Biochemistry & Physiology on the next day, what more to say pre-studying for concluding tests. Classic rants but no action taken, words from an epic failure.

Harmonix, just some random song title I stumbled on while probing here and there and everywhere the net for good Indie music.

Meanwhile, iPhone 4S is out instead of the long anticipated rumoured iPhone 5; no tapered design with larger screen size or different home button. Just another regular iPhone 4 but with better 8 megapixel camera and addition of several applications and the so-called voice command SIRI. There goes my time, straight and wasted as I was following some live blog/live stream on Apple event yesterday.

Before this I was in a deep dilemma whether to save up some money for winter trip or to change my dead Nokia N78 to this so-called overrated iPhone 5, it’s clear to me that obviously winter trip will be much more worth it now. But you got to admit that if the iPhone 5 really were to end up like this, Apple would most probably get a good laugh by every other devices in the world because it obviously looks hideous, out of proportions and cheap. Now how the bloody heck am I going to survive with a dead phone; still desperate for a substitute though. Maybe an Android?

Twitter trends flooded with SIRI jokes, and I was even wondering myself: “Are they even going to integrate SIRI with Bahasa Melayu? Or at least lousy Singlish/broken English? Considering the fact that Malaysians speak pretty… poor English. Like for example:

Malaysian user: “Errr can help me check tomorrow’s weather ar?
Malaysian iPhone 4S: “Cannot check yourself meh?”
Malaysian user: “If I can check myself, I won’t even ask you larh!”
Malaysian iPhone 4S: “Malaysia always hot one! Need to ask me meh?!”
Malaysian user: “Diam larh!”
Malaysian iPhone 4S: [language detected… Lousy Malaysian English]

October

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on
I’m barely holdin’ on to you

Seriously, the best song to start off October. So bold, acoustic and touches the soul; with lyrics written in such manner, anyone can just die.