When there's a will, there's a way
I took a sip of my favourite mocha chocolate ice-blended, such a sigh of relaxation and pleasure after a long day of monotonous work. The July sunlight gently kissed my cheeks as I gazed upon the vivid yet friendly orange sky. At that moment I knew that Clair was smiling at me.
My friends were often worried about me after I lost Clair. “After going through such a horrible tragedy, how does it feel to see your dreams come true?” “A horrible tragedy?” I spoke to myself as the memories were still fresh in my mind. “This is not a tragedy, it is a dream come true” I thought myself.
Back in the years, I was always being pointed as the rotten vegetable in my family. I often do things no other siblings in my family would actually do. Although I was from a ideal and perfect family background whereby both of my parents were successful and prestigious business people, I never seem to bother about striving hard or even have a slight thought about my future. Everything I do is always wrong and far beyond perfectness. Despite of my impatient and obstinate attitude, Clair was always beside me to prop up and motivate me in every single thing I do. “When there’s a will, there’s a way” this phrase always hangs in my strong-headed mind of mine.
Clair was my closest cousin I consider in my family; she was a strikingly attractive girl with long jet-black hair and a face of an angel. Her smile often dances in motionless dance steps following everywhere she goes, chasing away all my gloomy and murky days. Clair loves nothing more than swimming or head to the movies with me during weekends. One evening, we decided to go for a swim in a nearby swimming pool. The weather was painted with forget-me-not blue and it was just perfect for a swim.
All of a sudden, I saw Clair gasping helplessly for air. Without any proper thoughts, I jumped into the clear water and pulled her out of the water. Her condition was not that please as her face was totally faded white and she looked very pale. Soon, Clair was sent to the hospital for further check-up. The shock was therefore numbing when doctor claimed that she was diagnosed with liver cancer. Even more so when doctors revealed that the cancer was life-threatening.
My frail heart was broken to into million pieces of glasses. “How could this be? Why! WHY!!!” I shouted with tears flowing down my cheeks from my deep heart core. But Clair’s fighting spirit and perseverance helped her beat the grim of prognosis, just as it helped her endure the treatment that soon began. The chemo wound up shrinking Clair’s tumors. By the time she finished the treatment, the result was clearly miraculously. There was almost no sign of cancer! Once again she proved me that there will always be a shining opening if you have the will to carry on. Sooner, Clair returned to school like any ordinary girl.
Unfortunately, the young girl’s reprieve was short-lived. A few months after her recovery from cancer, came the devastating news that Clair’s cancer had returned. As a friend I comforted and relieved her emotions, cancer is not like any other life-threatening sickness, it does not kill directly but changes one’s personality before it strikes. Realizing how much precious everyday now was, I suggested that our family to go for a vacation to Japan since it was a place where Clair would love to go. But she said no. “I’ve traveled enough.” she told me. “Let other unlucky children go instead.” Her words were scrawny, yet her spirit was as strong as a fighting warrior. What amazes me was the girl seemed remarkably at peace and delight with her fate. Never did she said “Why me?” Instead it was I who would shed tears and break down. The picture of I loosing Clair was really excruciating. To comfort me, Clair would say, “It’s OK, look at my smile.” And there she was smiling and spreading the sweetness of her angelic smile.
Clair took her last breath several months later. The spirit and boundless strength of determination kept Clair alive after the date doctors predicted. I had ask all her friends and family members to wear blue, Clair’s favourite colour, to the funeral. I was rather pleased that everyone attended Clair’s funeral looked there was a sea of blue. Numb and grief, I prayed to God that Clair will be blessed and be in the midst of serenity in heaven. Unnoticed, I began weeping ceaselessly. Each morning I woke up shattered by Clair’s death, the words reverberated in my mind. Clair is gone. I even hear myself saying, “The best time of my life will be when I leave this world and join Clair.”
Time passes by hastily, waiting for no one. Now I’ve already graduated from university (Taylor’s College). It was once a place where Clair and I promised to continue our studies there together. I kept my word, to enjoy and strived hard to live life to its fullest, just as Clair told me a long time ago. That is why I decided to create a legacy to Clair that would help other cancer patients battling cancer. I have already had the intension to lend my helping to cancer patients and at the same time spreading awareness of cancer so that children or other unfortunate may experienced the same live as Clair – to appreciate life. Thus, I made my decision to establish the “Clair Order Fund”, which would help and support cancer research.
For the first time since the lost of Clair, I felt as though my life had a crystal-clear purpose. I had already walked through darkness and nightmares, now all I wanted was to carry my goal of raising money that would go to support cancer research. I had seen how cancer had given me deeper insight into life, and witnessed how Clair transformation into a person who cares a lot, now it was my time to act. I held my pen and start scrawling my diary. “I promised you I will carry on the work I started because you told me that when there’s a will there’s a way, and I believe it. My sweet Clair, thank you.”
Years passed by and the “Clair Order Fund” had been a great success. At the time I started, my goal was only RM100, 000. But now, the number had increase and we manage to accumulate up to RM400, 000. It was undoubtedly a great achievement not only for me but for Clair. Just after I give a talk on cancer in Kuala Lumpur last week, I was interviewed by Majalah 3, a television talk show.
When I gather my family and watch the programme later, I was stunned to see myself speaking clearly and without hesitation. All this while, I was always unable to overcome my awkwardness in front of people. I knew the words had come out naturally this time because I spoke out of my love for Clair.
Once, I attended a memorial for parents who lost either their son or daughters to cancer. It was rather depressing to see such sum of people who experienced the same situation as me. When it was my turn to speak, I would pour out every single word clearly to win admiration from the grief stricken parents by saying, “I once had a very close cousin, named Clair. She left me sobering alone in the dark before but now I stand up and continue to celebrate her life.”
And here I am now still drinking my mocha-chocolate ice-blended from the tip of the straw, indulging my life in serenity and memoirs of the past as my ipod sings melodically and lyrically. “There can be miracle when you believe, though hope is frail, its hard to deal, who knows what miracle you can achieve, when you believe somehow you will, you will when you believe…
(1345 words)
My friends were often worried about me after I lost Clair. “After going through such a horrible tragedy, how does it feel to see your dreams come true?” “A horrible tragedy?” I spoke to myself as the memories were still fresh in my mind. “This is not a tragedy, it is a dream come true” I thought myself.
Back in the years, I was always being pointed as the rotten vegetable in my family. I often do things no other siblings in my family would actually do. Although I was from a ideal and perfect family background whereby both of my parents were successful and prestigious business people, I never seem to bother about striving hard or even have a slight thought about my future. Everything I do is always wrong and far beyond perfectness. Despite of my impatient and obstinate attitude, Clair was always beside me to prop up and motivate me in every single thing I do. “When there’s a will, there’s a way” this phrase always hangs in my strong-headed mind of mine.
Clair was my closest cousin I consider in my family; she was a strikingly attractive girl with long jet-black hair and a face of an angel. Her smile often dances in motionless dance steps following everywhere she goes, chasing away all my gloomy and murky days. Clair loves nothing more than swimming or head to the movies with me during weekends. One evening, we decided to go for a swim in a nearby swimming pool. The weather was painted with forget-me-not blue and it was just perfect for a swim.
All of a sudden, I saw Clair gasping helplessly for air. Without any proper thoughts, I jumped into the clear water and pulled her out of the water. Her condition was not that please as her face was totally faded white and she looked very pale. Soon, Clair was sent to the hospital for further check-up. The shock was therefore numbing when doctor claimed that she was diagnosed with liver cancer. Even more so when doctors revealed that the cancer was life-threatening.
My frail heart was broken to into million pieces of glasses. “How could this be? Why! WHY!!!” I shouted with tears flowing down my cheeks from my deep heart core. But Clair’s fighting spirit and perseverance helped her beat the grim of prognosis, just as it helped her endure the treatment that soon began. The chemo wound up shrinking Clair’s tumors. By the time she finished the treatment, the result was clearly miraculously. There was almost no sign of cancer! Once again she proved me that there will always be a shining opening if you have the will to carry on. Sooner, Clair returned to school like any ordinary girl.
Unfortunately, the young girl’s reprieve was short-lived. A few months after her recovery from cancer, came the devastating news that Clair’s cancer had returned. As a friend I comforted and relieved her emotions, cancer is not like any other life-threatening sickness, it does not kill directly but changes one’s personality before it strikes. Realizing how much precious everyday now was, I suggested that our family to go for a vacation to Japan since it was a place where Clair would love to go. But she said no. “I’ve traveled enough.” she told me. “Let other unlucky children go instead.” Her words were scrawny, yet her spirit was as strong as a fighting warrior. What amazes me was the girl seemed remarkably at peace and delight with her fate. Never did she said “Why me?” Instead it was I who would shed tears and break down. The picture of I loosing Clair was really excruciating. To comfort me, Clair would say, “It’s OK, look at my smile.” And there she was smiling and spreading the sweetness of her angelic smile.
Clair took her last breath several months later. The spirit and boundless strength of determination kept Clair alive after the date doctors predicted. I had ask all her friends and family members to wear blue, Clair’s favourite colour, to the funeral. I was rather pleased that everyone attended Clair’s funeral looked there was a sea of blue. Numb and grief, I prayed to God that Clair will be blessed and be in the midst of serenity in heaven. Unnoticed, I began weeping ceaselessly. Each morning I woke up shattered by Clair’s death, the words reverberated in my mind. Clair is gone. I even hear myself saying, “The best time of my life will be when I leave this world and join Clair.”
Time passes by hastily, waiting for no one. Now I’ve already graduated from university (Taylor’s College). It was once a place where Clair and I promised to continue our studies there together. I kept my word, to enjoy and strived hard to live life to its fullest, just as Clair told me a long time ago. That is why I decided to create a legacy to Clair that would help other cancer patients battling cancer. I have already had the intension to lend my helping to cancer patients and at the same time spreading awareness of cancer so that children or other unfortunate may experienced the same live as Clair – to appreciate life. Thus, I made my decision to establish the “Clair Order Fund”, which would help and support cancer research.
For the first time since the lost of Clair, I felt as though my life had a crystal-clear purpose. I had already walked through darkness and nightmares, now all I wanted was to carry my goal of raising money that would go to support cancer research. I had seen how cancer had given me deeper insight into life, and witnessed how Clair transformation into a person who cares a lot, now it was my time to act. I held my pen and start scrawling my diary. “I promised you I will carry on the work I started because you told me that when there’s a will there’s a way, and I believe it. My sweet Clair, thank you.”
Years passed by and the “Clair Order Fund” had been a great success. At the time I started, my goal was only RM100, 000. But now, the number had increase and we manage to accumulate up to RM400, 000. It was undoubtedly a great achievement not only for me but for Clair. Just after I give a talk on cancer in Kuala Lumpur last week, I was interviewed by Majalah 3, a television talk show.
When I gather my family and watch the programme later, I was stunned to see myself speaking clearly and without hesitation. All this while, I was always unable to overcome my awkwardness in front of people. I knew the words had come out naturally this time because I spoke out of my love for Clair.
Once, I attended a memorial for parents who lost either their son or daughters to cancer. It was rather depressing to see such sum of people who experienced the same situation as me. When it was my turn to speak, I would pour out every single word clearly to win admiration from the grief stricken parents by saying, “I once had a very close cousin, named Clair. She left me sobering alone in the dark before but now I stand up and continue to celebrate her life.”
And here I am now still drinking my mocha-chocolate ice-blended from the tip of the straw, indulging my life in serenity and memoirs of the past as my ipod sings melodically and lyrically. “There can be miracle when you believe, though hope is frail, its hard to deal, who knows what miracle you can achieve, when you believe somehow you will, you will when you believe…
(1345 words)
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