Blow Jobs To A Banana

It fascinates me when the world is filled with a diversity of people and their way of thinking. A small country like Malaysia alone possesses ideas, concepts and mindsets diverge in many ways you can hardly imagine; let alone if we widen our perspective globally. Some I find them parallel, some are inspiring and can draw people to loose their jaws and on the opposite side, some are just plain preposterous. A recent finding I found on Facebook shared by a friend of mine on "Islamic Cleric banning woman from bananas and cucumbers for sexual resemblance".

A leader should not put anything personal mindset into leading a country, either democratic or republican. Food resembling sexual organs are too subjective and there are no definite rules in stating that a slightly oblique object resembles a penis or that apples and watermelons resemble a womans' breast. I wonder how is he capable of implying such thinking into real political practice; maybe he was being too horny salivating over his wife who could not offer him sex while eating a piece of banana. Or the guilt gushed as his maid was busy cutting cucumber in the kitchen because he was cheating on his wife? Who knows, the odds are infinite.

"The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and serve. He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.” 

If we were to put this cleric rule into real practice, of all the valid reasons why woman can only eat chopped, diced, served bananas is because it does not resemble a penis. Declaring publicly that bananas, cucumbers, zucchini or carrots are fruits and vegetables resembling a males' penis, and formalizing it as a rule is sufficient to embed the thought these are male penises. The main goal here is to steer clear of  sexual thoughts because these resemble sex organs. Hence changing it's appearance would not be the best of choice for evading such thinking unless their husband told their wives that instead of a banana he claims that its an apple. 

"The sheikh was asked how to “control” women when they are out shopping for groceries and if holding these items at the market would be bad for them. The cleric answered saying this matter is between them and God. Answering another question about what to do if women in the family like these foods, the sheikh advised the interviewer to take the food and cut it for them in a hidden place so they cannot see it."

Since the variety of food around us are immeasurable, the thought of which is resembles a sexual organ is too subjective and there are not definite answers to it. My suggestion if I were a cleric leader is to ban all source of food, entirely sweep off anything edible in my country, from grains to fruits.. anything and everything.

My food source will be plankton, hiring the best engineers and scientists to create genetically modified plankton in pill form. If anything in pill form induces any sexual thought, then grind them into powder form. Or, stir them with water and drink them directly for prevention of so-called 'dirty thoughts'. Chocolate flavoured plankton pills, roast chicken flavoured drink etcetera. 

It's human nature to have such thoughts, God created everything on the surface of the earth the way it should be. Cleric thought? Nothing but a pile of rubbish.